Sunday, January 30, 2011


For the past 5.5 years I've celebrated Friday knowing that I have no real right to.  As a grad student you don't always have hard enough weeks to justify needing it to be the weekend.  And if you have worked your butt off all week, chances are you are going to keep working right through the weekend be because you've procrastinated and are trying to create 5 months of data in the two weeks before your orals.  Or I've heard that's what people do.

What I'm trying to say is that this past Friday was the first Friday I felt like I'd earned.  It was the first Friday of my first week at work.  And I was all TGIF people.  I always figured that being a grown up was hard...but I had no idea it would be so exhausting.

So to celebrate I went to Ikea.  I have been anxiously waiting for one of their expedit shelves to be in stock so that I can make some serious progress on my living room entertainment sitch.  But, as much as I wanted that shelf in my living room, I was not excited about everything it would take to get it there.  There are several reasons for this.

1 - The last time I put together the expedit shelves I already have I received a horrible surprise.
I thought Ikea was supposed to be easy, but this was like impossible.  The shelf is held together using 4 inch screws that tighten with a  hex key, that Ikea provides.  Hex keys suck.  They take a lot of strength to tighten and each shelf has 8 screws.  I pulled muscles.  I didn't even like the shelves after they were done.

2 - The last time I went to Ikea I realized the inherent logistical issues of trying to get your stuff into an apartment designed like the one in which I live.  See, I have underground parking.  So to get stuff from my car to my apartment I have to carry it upstairs or use the elevator.  They have shopping carts downstairs to help with this.  That coffee table was heavy, so the stairs were a no go.  It was also too wide to fit in the basket of the cart, so I had to put it on top.  However it was also pretty wide, so getting it in the door that lead to the elevator turned into one of those moments where you can't believe that your life is happening the way that it is.  I'm trying to get the cart through the door, but the coffee table is too wide and it gets wedged, then the cart gets hung up on the door handle.  I am trying to force it in anyway when the side tables that I put on the bottom of the cart slide off and block the back wheels.  Now, the cart won't go in the door, and it can't go back out either.  I am trapped inside and can either go up the elevator and take the stairs back down...or I can do what I did.  Which is to get on my hands and knees, while wearing a dress, and crawl onto the bottom shelf of the cart to pick up the side tables.  When I finally did make it up to my apartment I was again so angry at Ikea that I didn't even want to put the stuff together.

3 - So I'm reluctantly driving to Ikea.  I'm walking in.  I'm singlehandedly loading a 5.5 foot box onto the cart.  I'm paying for things.  I'm backing my car into the loading zone.  I'm watching the employees stand inside where it's warm NOT offering to help me get this insanely large box into my car, while standing next to a sign that says "Let us help you load your items".  I am using every physics tidbit I can remember to help myself lift this box into the back of my car while using one foot to hold the cart in place that seems intent on making a break for it.  But I manage it.  And as far as I can tell I haven't pulled muscles and I'm not particularly angry.  I get home and the cart bit goes differently.  Better.  A nice man even holds the door for me and offers help.  Before I have time to struggle as I thought I would, it's in my apartment.

4 - In preparation for the assembly portion I stopped at the liquor store and bought 3 bottles of wine.  Halfway through my first glass I feel I can delay the inevitable no longer so I open the box.  Maybe there's a learning curve to this whole process, but before I even get angry or finish that glass of wine the shelf is put together.  I'm so excited and can't wait to fill it up with books and stuff but sit back to finish my wine and admire my handiwork first.  

5 - The wine makes me sleepy.  And the couch is so comfortable.  And that is when I realized that I was officially a lame ass grown up.  Because, it was 9:30 pm and I was ready for bed.

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