Friday, April 1, 2011

- All Smiles

So, I go to the dentist for the first time in like 6 years.  I am of course nervous...I mean obviously if something was wrong it would have hurt really badly and I would have sought medical help.  Since that hasn't happened I have a pretty good indication that my oral hygiene hasn't gone to hell in a hand basket.  But still, 6 years is a long time, and I'm nervous.

Dental x-rays are uncomfortable.  I forgot about how it involves biting down on those plastic thingies like 25 times and how they cut into your gums...which is made even more uncomfortable when your hygienist is working on getting the part of the bearded lady with a traveling circus.  Also, when you don't wash your hands before you put gloves on - I don't have any confidence in you.  Please use your dirty hands to pull gloves out of the box and then hold onto them as you put them on your hands.  And then put stuff in my mouth.  It seems clean because you have obviously demonstrated your omnipotent knowledge of microbiology.

After my exposure to E. coli and the norovirus it is determined that I have one small cavity.  I had no idea it was even there.  My dentist didn't act like it was a big deal, but that's probably because she was too busy telling me that the gums on my incisors were extending too far down and I could have an elective cosmetic gum surgery to fix it if I was going for that perfect smile.

Okay...I obviously care about my smile because I brought up the fact that my bottom teeth have moved.  I only brought it up because my mom paid $3200 for braces because I had some major buck teeth since I was pushed off a slide in kindergarten.  I hit the side on the way down and knocked my two front teeth out and the theory is that the side of the slide hit me so hard in the gums that is separated my permanent teeth and caused them to grow in all crazy.  When they finally did like a year and a half later.

BUT, a gum surgery?  Seriously?  Because my gums are at 3mm and they really only need to be at 1mm.  And is it crazy that I think that straightening out some teeth is less severe than moving my gum line?  I told her I'd "think about it" just to get her to shut up but I've looked in the mirror a lot these last past few days and I just can't fathom changing that part of me.

I mean quite frankly my forehead wrinkles bother me a million times more and I am even less likely to get botox than a gum surgery.

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