Monday, July 18, 2011

- Hiding in the Closet

These past few days the Minnie is trying to play nice with me by acting like North Cackalacky.  There's a heat advisory in effect because temperatures are in the 90's but with the humidity it feels like 110+.  Minnesotans are all "Oh Em Geeeeeee it's so hot and sticky and I hate it and I just need to sit in air conditioning and I'm ready for fall and wah waaaaaaaahhhh wahhhhhh".  Their whining is making me all whiney.

Do I like the way it feels outside?  Not really.  My bangs hate it when within seconds of being out there everything is sweating and my hair goes all lank and my bangs end up plastered to my forehead.  Jeans feel terrible and yet I have to wear pants if I want to be in the lab.  Which I don't really want, but sauce doesn't just make itself.  My car is sweltering which is a pain because I've been driving back and forth between the tech centers every day so I'm in there more than usual (side note: Jeepy needs gas)...and yet, yeah, I kind of flippin' love it.  On days like this it's so easy to think "I'll just hop on Glenwood and check out what's on sale at Belk" or "let's have a humpday happy hour at EV"...because it feels like I could be in Raleigh.  I really like the way this city can be so uniquely it's own, all while feeling like the same place I've lived for the majority of my life.

A few weeks ago we had Weather.  I was laying in bed with the blinds shut but I could just feel that it was darker and that a storm was moving in so I decided to quickly walk the Emmas.  Outside the wind was whipping trees around like crazy and while trying to prevent a Marilyn Monroe dress incident I ran into a man standing in the park.  He was watching the storm roll in and gawking up at the clouds.  He couldn't believe how the pressure and temperature had dropped so quickly.  I guess it's not so familiar for him to experience the "Dog Days" of summer where the temperature just gets too hot too fast and creates a line of severe storms that move through before dinner.  Usually I'm pretty scared of thunderstorms, but here I find comfort in the fact that storms are the same here as they are home.  I even enjoyed practicing yoga while it raged outside.  I was totally all zen.  I even started to think that maybe I was "cured" because I barely even seem scared up here...I think we can see where this going...of course this all came crashing down on me the other night.

I don't know what it is about a midnight storm, but when constant bright flashes of lightening wake me up - I is terrified.  Maybe it's because I'm half asleep and have no ability for rational thought but I wake up and within 10 seconds I'm convinced that if I continue to lay in my bed, which is always near a window, I will get struck by lightening and die.  Sometimes I can get through it by burying my head in pillows, but so help me Jebus, if I continue to sense flashing of light...panic escalates.  And then, I can't take it anymore.  I grab my comforter, pillow and dog and run into the walk in closet, where I curl up on the floor and peacefully finish out the night.  All safe and sound.  Snug as a bug in a rug.

So, even though I may proclaim that need a walk in closet for all my clothes and shoes and leggings and purses and bracelets and scarves...you now know that's just my front and that I'm really just a scaredy cat who needs constant access to a good fort.





P.S. - Did you think this post might be homosexual in nature because of the title?  That's SO gay.

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