Tuesday, August 23, 2011

- The One Upper

We all know someone like this:

Whatever you did, they did it better.  And more times.  Imagine spending two consecutive 8 hour days with someone like this.  Someone who has already done all the science and saved all the money and innovated all of the things.

Whatever you did that you think is cool - isn't.  Whenever you did something, this person did it 30 years before you.  If you got married, this person's daughter got married better than you ever thought about getting married.  If you walked down the hallway, you didn't do it right.  And if you had an idea, it's crap because this person thought of it 20 years ago and hasn't had time to think of it since because they've been thinking about other way more important things.  Throughout this person's life everyone has told them how great they are and if you don't believe them they will tell you a story about how people have told them how great they are.

To put it lightly, I reach a certain saturation point with the One Upper.   A point where if I don't get myself out of that situation some serious shit is going to go down.  It takes a lot to put me in a place where I start to feel mentally unhinged.  Where I roll my eyes in plain sight.  Where I cannot even pretend to act civil.  I was there at 2 pm today and I have NO idea how I made it to 4:30.  I think I just had an out of body experience where I sent my brain elsewhere and my body carried on...like a zombie.

Then I came home...and I wanted to go to yoga because I thought sweating it out with my favorite instructive would be all therapeutic and leave me all zen, but I really wanted to drink a bottle of wine more.  And while I was drinking this wine I saw a toad on the outside of my sliding glass door and decided to see what Emma thought about toads.  I like to point to things outside and see if Emma realizes what they are.  Bunnies.  Birds.  Toads.  The last time I was with her when she saw one it jumped towards her and that Bear nearly lost her shit.  And since she's perfectly adorable when cautious...here's what happened:
Seriously ya'll, my dog is ridiculously cute.

She never made it any closer than that.  Bear immediately backed off because she was so scared and excited about what could happen she just couldn't handle it.  All the pics of her backing away are blurry because she retreated so quickly.
And that my friends is why dogs are magic.  Because no matter what your day was like, you can come home, and find something new, and watch it through the eyes of your dog and laugh so hard you nearly spill you glass of wine.  Especially when the toad decides to make a break for it - into my apartment and under my couch.

Sometimes, cuteness is the most perfect cure for the common day.

1 comment:

Mams said...

Oh Emma Bears,

You are full of cuteness and so adorable!