Friday, September 30, 2011

- Addiction

I have managed to live 28 years without ever forming an addiction to any substance.

Sure, I smoked.  Sometimes more heavily than others.  But mostly it was social and one day after I smoked the last cigarette I had, I never bought another pack.  I've never missed the smoking, only the activities I was doing while smoking like dancing in the grass at a concert or talking all night with bff's.  I have maybe smoked 3 times since "quitting", and that was nearly 7 years ago.  I regret it every time.

Alcohol and I totally great friends and have a pretty awesome together (until the next morning) but we are not dependent on each other.

Sometimes I feel like I'm addicted to things - bands, facebook, rugby, an awesome hoodie sweatshirt, or leggings...but they aren't really addictions...more like obsessions.

But, now I have a legitimate addiction.  About 2 and a half weeks ago I started drinking coffee every day during the work week.  Like pretty much every other person in the world.  That is unusual for me though, since I'm pretty sensitive to caffeine and can get totally jittery, I pretty much avoid it.  But it's fall and Starbucks has some delicious seasonal coffees and I started to like that my morning commute included a cup in hand.  That first week I didn't sleep much, so I downgraded from a grande to a tall.  Then I went to NC and drank coffee every day over the weekend, which is definitely not part of my normal routine.  But, I wanted to.  I enjoyed it.

This past Wednesday I decided to forgo my cup because I was running late and felt like I was awake enough to get through the day.  Then Wednesday night I got a headache that was persistent.  I thought I could be dehydrated, or just tired...I get so headaches so rarely, and for only those reasons, that I decided to just drink a lot of water and go to bed.  That headache woke me up promptly at 6AM.  Still going strong.

Can I just say that I usually consider myself pretty tough, but with a headache I am a complete and utter wuss.  I mean I just cannot handle that kind of pain.  Do I take medicine?  No.  Because in my experience I have found that it doesn't really help, and I don't like to take pills if they aren't going to make me feel better.  So I just usually sit there and wallow in my utter misery.  Granted, usually drinking water or sleeping helps, but this time I had proven to be SOL with those treatment methods.

Even with my head pounding, I was able to realize that this could be the result of caffeine withdrawal.  I didn't want to admit that my body could already have become so dependent on something I'd only been partaking of for a few weeks, so I got all scientist-y on this and did an experiment.  It involved going to Starbucks, purchasing a nonfat grande salted caramel mocha - no whip, and drinking it.  An hour later there was no headache.

I think that's pretty flippin' conclusive evidence.

I haven't skipped any coffee since.

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