Thursday, September 29, 2011

- One Week

It has been one week since I last opened Mac Daddy.  One week since I last posted.  In that time I traveled home.  Home to Raleigh, and back home to Minneapolis.  As my plane landed here I watched out my window as the city lights came closer and realized that I now feel the same way landing here that I used to feel when I landed in Raleigh.  A switch has been "flipped" and I am now more at home in Minneapolis than in North Carolina.  While NC will always be home and filled with comforts and familiarity which I can never fully describe - I now completely live my life here.  In Minnesota.  It is a weird realization to come to...and yet one that fills me with great relief.  I always wondered if I could make a home for myself somewhere else.  Now I know that I can and have.

My flight back had a layover in Chicago and I was eager to find a bookstore.  It seems that with every flight this year I have bought a new book and most I have finished.  This year I have read more works of literature than most others and I am proud of this accomplishment.  It didn't hurt that I started up this Books and Bars thing.  You know, to get my culture.  Consider it gotten.

Our first book was Room.  I went to the discussion when I was only 100 pages in.  Even though I learned most of the plot points before finishing the book, it didn't ruin it for me.  Instead it only made me more curious to see how the story was woven to get from where I was to the many different places I couldn't imagine the Author had in store for me.  To say that this book affected me, is an understatement.  The story is so captivating, and so unexpected and yet terribly beautiful you just can't forget the imagery formed from the words written on the page.  I finished it in mid-August and yet brought it up in conversation this past weekend.

The next book was the Lonely Polygamist.  I don't know how else to say this, but I hated it.  It was 600 pages that I read hoping somewhere along the way to form a connection with just one character.  Which might have been possible if I could have ever gotten over my severe hate for the protagonist.  The only thing I took from this book was the phrase "What a gyp!" and a profound sadness that there are children and people in the world that know the neglect of never being loved properly, and the long lasting emotional and physical scars this can leave on a person.  I did not attend the discussion.  I hadn't quite finished the book and I was so angry at how it turned out and just utterly exhausted that day that I couldn't face the subject matter.  Maybe if I had something would have been said that changed my mind.  Probably not.

The book for October 11th is the Gargoyle.  I bought the last copy Monday night in terminal H of the Chicago airport - which never fails to remind me of Home Alone, and my trip to Europe.  I started reading it once I boarded the plane and it had me sucked in by page 9.  I finished the 516th page tonight.  Every day I left work this week I was mostly thinking about how long it will take to get home so that I can put on pajamas and get to reading.  I have thoroughly lost myself in the stories of medieval Germany, Iceland, and Italy that are woven into a modern day survival story filled with a love that I cannot quite comprehend because at the base, is completely insane.

Other books read this year include Tina Fey's Bossypants which if you love Liz Lemon like I do, will never ever disappoint you.  Pride and Prejudice has been revisited because it has been too long since I read the words of Darcy: "In vain I have struggled.  It will not do.  My feelings will not be repressed.  You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."  I even upgraded to a new hardcover edition because my copy was passed down from Aaronus and purchased in the days when he clearly hated english.  He wrote in the back: "$4.95!  I had to buy this one because it wasn't in the library!"  I can nearly feel his highschool rage at not only being forced to read the words of Austen, but also having to pay for them.  I wonder what he would say if he learned I gladly paid $20 for my new copy and consider it one of the best purchases I made this year.

I started Lord of the Flies but did not finish it.  It seems to be headed for a depressing end.  Harry Potter is always in constant rotation, especially after being so disappointed over the last movie, and feeling the need to replace my memories of the movie with the much better ones found in the books.  Animal Farm was purchased and put on the shelf - never opened.  Several iBooks were downloaded, but that is as far as I made it in the process.  The Hunger Games is probably next.  A co-worker suggested the trilogy and it sounds like my kind of jam so that's where I think I'm headed...although I am a bit scared at the possibly of how absorbed I will become with reading those books.  When I fall into a book, there is little else that interferes with my need to consume every word on every page.

Much like my ability to remember what I was wearing on a certain day when a certain event happened - I also remember where I was when I read certain books for the first time.  I almost always read while laying in bed.  So, I remember reading Red Dragon and War and Peace in a small twin bed in the mountains at Roaring Gap.  I read all of the Twilight books in less than a week and was so wrapped up in the story of Edward and Bella that I rarely left my bed, room, or apartment in Inman Park...and I certainly didn't attend much grad school either.  I remember racing out to buy the 6th Harry Potter when I lived in the basement.  I read it very gently because I returned it afterwards, knowing that Mamsie had already purchased a copy.  I remember falling in love with Mr. Rochester just as Jane Eyre did while laying in bed in my last apartment in Raleigh - an apartment that I have been missing a lot lately for it's manageable size and rent.

And now I will remember how Emma curled up next to me as I propped myself up against the headboard I made earlier this year and lost myself in these last few books.  How I constantly left my windows open so that the incoming breeze caused my blinds to rattle in the background.  How my room smelled of leather due to all the new pairs of boots bought in anticipation of the cooler seasons. I will remember how I read these books while appreciating how beautiful my first Fall in Minnesota was, and how much I loved being home for every second of it.

1 comment:

Mams said...

Ahh, so bittersweet to know your home is so far away from our home. Your old home,our home, but home noneless. You will tell friends you are going home for the holidays because that is what we all say and its funny because you will never grow out of saying out that as long as one of your family memebers is here. I think what we really mean to say it we are going back to our roots, the place you grew up and made so many memories. But home is where you hang you hat, and that my dear is Minni.